Lies and loneliness

​It’s funny how no one ever sees the struggle while it’s going on
I could give in to my vices, let you down
They’re whispering for license, ‘Invite me!’, ‘Let me in!’,
I could lie to you, tell you what you wanna hear
But people seeing me, then leaving me is my greatest fear
So I tell you too much, leak my dreams
Tell you how thoughts of you breach my dreams
Tell you how scared I am that I’ll never reach my dreams
Go on and on about how I like seeing stuff and doing things

Before I know it, being real is the game
So I told Shan I’m sorry about that first term
Told Roma that after her I’d never stay the same

I don’t know if these lies become truths, or if I’m just going insane
…..
Didn’t dream of Alex before I told her she was always on my brain…

Don’t know if I’m just writing a story,
Or my lies become me

Maybe that’s why I’m afraid of falling for Kris 
Giving too much never works in my experience
Truth is, she deserves way more than the BS
But how do I tell her that I don’t respond to her texts, because I don’t know what real is?
That I don’t understand the gentle violence of emotions 
So I do without closeness

But it’s not just me is it?

Fear lets us be angels while our demons be us
Walk around, afraid to let people see us
A generation short on trust, because we say too little and think too much
Look in the mirror and we don’t even believe us

Embrasse l’Aurore ✌

Yakum
Photo: jezebel.com