Eulogy for a dream

Nightmare daydreams:
I keep the odd habit of eulogising the living I love,
Love looks that much clearer in the magnifying glass of absence,
A person comes alive when they have died.

Daydreamed nightmares:
That morning I heard you’d had two strokes,  I knew
The Lord had touched you twice, and I saw you gone,
At about 4 pm that day,  I smelled you there,
Meltwork genuine,
I came apart at seams I did not know I had

Daytime nightmares,
Subway sandwiches,  distant friends,  and that slight drizzle
They all saw me come apart that day,
I tore with a smile,
It must have looked a grimace because that drizzle grew,
“Yakum,  where are you”
Brother insistent like he never was,
I knew.

Nighttime daymares:
I meant to visit you that day,
But time got away from me
That heavy-footed slink,
I felt it get away from me,
I saw a man that morning,
He was bothering girls, and I thought of my sisters,
I should say something,
But that heavy-footed slink,
Sister,  I thought of you,
You needed more,
But that heavy-footed slink,
That devastating traipse,
Love does not look clearer in the shadow of absence,
Love with no receipt looks like the void at the centre of everything,
I am everything,
And there is a nothing within me,

Night-dreamed days,
I saw you,
You took my hand, and my pen started working from within my dream,
That black and white haze,
My pain left me as I wrote,
I bled black on white, from finite veins,
I woke, and the words flowed,
Better than they had before,
Easier than the tears came that day,
Pacier than the peace came this night.