I forgot how to write

I forgot how to write.
I forgot how to bleed black and blue onto canvases gray,
I mean an open wound filled with things I didn’t know how to say,
Deep like the blue ocean contained in a fist of lies,
Lying in the black, cursing melatonin for not making me fall asleep,
Asleep to the pain I caused because it was within me,
I mean mellow tones within me, but lost within me,
I mean loss, within me
Within me because that’s where I live, and I live free,
Except the constant,
I should do this
I should do that
I should, I should, I should,
I should, or I should not
Which way did we go, when our moral compass was once so strong?
Dragged by the north star of influence,
A fallacy that doesn’t know how to wrong,
So when I say I forgot how to write, I mean I forgot how to right.